Diabeetus

Back in August, I went to the doctor for a routine checkup.  I told the doctor that sometimes after eating cereal or bread, things like that, my stomach felt like it was going to burst.  He asked me, almost in passing, if there was any diabetes in my family.  There is: my grandmother has it.  Maybe other people in my family.  We’re black.  I’m told that’s a thing.  I’m not sure; I only know my gramma does.  So after hearing this, he said we should do some bloodwork.  We did.   The results came back, and I had type-2 diabetes.  More than that, my blood was terrible.  Pretty much the the way I make kool-aid.  1 part blood, 4 parts sugar.   My a1c was 12.7, when around 6 is a good and healthy level.  My blood sugar was 387 when it should be between 80-120.

My doctor told me that I had to make some life changes.  Seeing what could happen to people that didn’t take care of themselves, hearing horror stories of going blind and losing appendages, I took this very seriously.  I immediately cut out all types of carbs from my diet.  I started running 4-5 times a week.  I completed the couch to 5k program.  From August to November, I lost about 40lbs.  It was extremely difficult for me.  You see, I enjoy eating cereal.  I don’t even eat “unhealthy” cereal.  I like what my wife calls old man cereal.  I like Wheaties and Life.  But, I’ve learned, carbs pretty much turn to sugar once it hits your blood.  So, I cut out cereal.  I cut out bread.  Sandy had me start drinking Bitter Melon Tea, which tastes like you boiled sailor’s feet and used the water for a beverage.  I almost threw up the first time I tried it.  It’s awful.

Seriously awful.

Sandy thinks this is what saved my life.

The change in diet and exercise worked.  My a1c last time dropped to a 4.7.  My blood sugar, which I would take by pricking my finger every morning, hovers between 90-100 now.  I had another follow-up appointment last week and my doctor told me to stop taking the diabeetus medication he’d prescribed.  And I was like, “I already did, dawg.  I stopped taking that ish after Thanksgiving.”  So, my takeaway from that is that my bloodwork looked so fantabulous that my doctor thought it was drug assisted.

Also, when I say dawg, in my head, it sounds the way Key and Peele say it in some of their skits.  Like Doiwg.

Anyway,  after losing so much weight, pretty much cutting carbs out of my life.  My doctor told me I need to start eating “regularly” again.  This has been more difficult than I thought.  I’m now terrified of diabetes coming back.  I’ll eat the occasional slice of thin-crust pizza.  But more than that now makes me sick.  I’ve had to slowly work carbs back in.  Mostly through fruit.  I had a piece of cake the other day and felt as if I’d betrayed something.  What? I don’t know.  Just…something.

Also with this fear of diabetes coming back has me wanting to workout a lot more than just the cardio I’ve been doing.  So, I started a workout program.  My goal, I think I said before, is to look like Michael B. Jordan in Black Panther.  Ya’ll think I’m playing, but I’m fully intending to show up to Black Panther 2 in a tribal mask and some tattoos talking about how I have listened from de mountains.  As of Saturday, a coupole days ago, I’ve completed my first full 4 weeks of going to the gym at least 5 times a week.  I had one of my fitness friends check out the routine I’m doing and got the okay, so that I know I’m working out in a way that’s conducive to building muscles.

Getting them gains, in bro-talk.

I feel better than I have in a long time, but I’ve actually gained weight.  I’ve been very weight conscious since getting diagnosed because weight is actually one of the factors of diabetes.  The less I weight, the better my body processes glucose.  I’m not trying to be a twig, though.  I’m at the point where I feel guilty if I miss the gym, so I think the fear of losing my sight and feet has worked.  It feels like this time, trying to get muscles is going to stick.

Friend of mine told me to take lots of pictures so I can track my process.  I’m not confident enough to post pictures now, but as soon as I have abs, I’m going to be one of those assholes posting pictures of myself, at the gym, in front of a mirror, shirtless, with a pair of huge beats earbuds on.  I’m going to have obnoxious hashtags that are all nerd-related, like #rippedlikePiotr and #howyoutraininWakanda.